May 3, 2006

crumbles.

I'd love to cry in your arms again, be warm again and all my pieces gathered; all in one place. I'd want to be where I can soften my emotional calluses, that I'd want to smile again like it is the natural thing in the world and not be paranoid that someone would see.

Manila is a place where being myself is not exactly a good idea.
And for the past weeks bonks has not been a good idea at all. Yes, I hesitate to use being real, as it falls prey to subjectivity.

Its almost pure sadness to miss my lady's embrace and my daughter's smile floating away in the air unaffected by the gravity of living for money.
At times, I will take that back; because it is pure sadness. The word "almost" would not be there at all.

I think I will listen to loud music again. Put the blues and the Counting Crows on the backburner. There is a need to space out, I miss my family too much.